John McNaughton’s amateurish, hackneyed depictions of Trump always subtract about 120 lbs and add a gravitas and competence we have never seen in real life. I saw this on the front of LGM, and I just about lost it.

The very idea that Trump could actually fish is hilarious enough. But to put out there the concept that Trump might be able to teach someone how to do something as useful as fishing is as ridiculous as it gets. He doesn’t know a Goddamned thing about anything, other than stealing shit and figuring out which fat fuck within fifty feet can be blamed for his persistent problems.

President Three Hundred Pounds of Soft, Manhattan Flab couldn’t sort out a rod and reel these days if it came with a free billion dollars and no questions asked. Do you think he understands strategy, patience, and knowing when to hesitate in order to properly set a hook?

Hells no, baby.

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