This is Sexist




Veev vodka is hoping you'll accept the joke here. Unfortunately, it's a transparently sexist and somewhat culturally insensitive ad.

The stereotypically harsh and unattractive Russian/Slavic/Eastern European depiction of a hectoring wife is supposed to sell alcohol to who, exactly? I'm not sure who the target audience is but any man married to a "beast like this" (which is what the advertiser is signaling here) must want to drink themselves into a state of unconsciousness.

When you're using humor to kick down here, you have to remember that there is a fine line between satire and being stupid about cultural signifiers. You're not supposed to link your product to something that doesn't have some sort of redeeming quality. Being smashed, cheating on your wife, and fostering a stereotype isn't exactly the smart or uplifting quality being sought here.

Veev makes a vodka that is useful for your suicide by drinking because your horrible wife is a sexless babushka? Really? And now that means you gotta get a third or fourth bottle for your bros?

Stupid. And, of course, sexist.

Rick Scott is the Greatest Politician Ever




I think it is fairly obvious that Florida Governor Rick Scott is going to win his re-election bid, probably by 20 points. Americans love a petulant man-child. They elect them and re-elect them as often as possible now. Clearly, Charlie Crist showed up with a fan that was designed to make the people of Florida mad enough to forget about their problems, and it worked.

Our politics are insane, our country is led by fools, and you couldn't make this up if you tried.

America's First Family


It is now two years into the presidency of Sarah Palin. America is at war with Syria, Jordan, Iraq, Iran, Mexico and Turkey. A universal draft has been implemented in order to place America's military on a footing that is expected to grow to a total of 20 million uniformed service members. The threat to American interests expands in Latin America and the far East, with American embassies shuttered all over the globe.

Unemployment is down to 18.4% and America's GDP is $4 trillion dollars, down from a high of $17 trillion in 2009. Gas prices hover at $6.75 a gallon and milk is impossible to find due to lax regulation of bovine hormones. In most American cities, the police randomly shoot rioters and turn anyone they arrest over for basic training. President Palin has issued another executive over, to the exasperation of the Congress, indicating that she is displeased to learn that her eldest daughter has been rejected as the lead actress in a sitcom about a porn star who finds Jesus at Wendy's and then decides to live there with her uncle, who is a ghost.

Palin believes in blue skies overhead and the power of prayer. She took over when John McCain was impeached for tax evasion and being cranky. McCain declined to run for re-election in 2012 and has retired to a life of lobbying and criticizing American foreign policy. Palin, a family values candidate with plucky and popular daughters and a Bachelor son, easily defeated her primary opponents and then kneecapped liberal Senator Al Franken, who was the Democratic Party's nominee for President. Franken ran on a campaign platform that stated, "I will not allow any of my children to scoot along the ground, drunken and disorderly."

Franken lost by 200 electoral votes. Vice President Peter King snickered like a thug when he won.

In Alaska last week, President Palin was asked, how can your drunken family get away with such things?

Palin replied, "don't you know who I am?"

And with that, the heavens groaned.

Wal-Mart Gives Itself a Tax Cut




Did you know that Wal-Mart can give itself a tax cut?

The act of dropping health care coverage for 30,000 workers amounts to a savings of $500 million dollars per year. I think that that number is low because Wal-Mart is going to make a whole lot more of their employees fall into that category in order to boost their savings (which are not needed, of course, because Wal-Mart is an insanely profitable business).

Your taxes will have to cover that difference because those workers will now have to rely on government benefits or emergency room services or some other form of funding for their health care costs. In many cases, they'll just pay more out of pocket, thereby receiving a pay cut on top of the tax increase you'll get in order to help make up the difference.

Wal-Mart takes the savings and passes them on to you. Only you're not making more money, either.

What I don't understand is, how much longer can we continue to pretend that Wal-Mart has been good for America in any way, shape or form? We're now addicted to cheap consumer goods made elsewhere. We're used to covering the costs of feeding and sheltering people who work for Wal-Mart and receive low pay and can't make ends meet. Now we're going to be handed another segment of the gainfully-employed population that will require health care coverage.

It's awful.

And, what's more, Wal-Mart managers are going to be under pressure to arbitrarily and unfairly cut hours and put more people in the cohort that is losing health care coverage. They'll do that by quietly reducing hours for people who are already on the bubble. Shopping there is already more of a nightmare than it was twenty years ago precisely because they cut the hours of the very same people who are there to help customers and get them through the check stands. The very definition of hell is Wal-Mart on a Friday night at 10:30.

The margins are incredibly thin now--disaster awaits anyone who is unlucky enough to lose a few hours a week or a little bit of insurance.

A one billion dollar a year tax increase on Wal-Mart would be welcome. Good luck ever seeing that in your lifetime.

Piers Morgan is an Expert on American Politics


Shocking insight from Piers Morgan:
President Obama this week committed professional suicide.
Let me explain.
There is a theory in politics that once a leader has fired 50 or more people from his or her administration, he or she is finished.
The reason being that by creating so many enemies ‘outside the tent’, the tent itself becomes too deluged with poisonous bile to avoid sinking into a quagmire of back-stabbing ignominy.
It's too bad that this insight--this brilliance--did not translate into any kind of success in America. If there's one thing that the viewing public needs it is the keen eye for U.S. politics that Morgan possesses and isn't afraid to display.

Many people receive millions of dollars in salary for such commentary. To me, Morgan is woefully underpaid and should have his words written down by more than one person so that there are no errors when he utters something smart.

When we get beyond Morgan's gift to us all, we find him wallowing in stupidity (hold the stenographers) and covered in his own shame (which should get him back on TV soon).

How is President Obama "failing" to protect Americans through complacency? After winning the Nobel Prize for Peace in 2009, he ordered Osama bin Laden to be shot in the forehead, bombed a string of countries, visited robot death from the skies on untold numbers of cowering terrorists, started wars in places Americans can't find on maps, and has made darned certain that there aren't any Americans driving around Baghdad in fifth generation MRAPs.

I don't get these people. This administration couldn't win for trying with them. No matter what the President does, he's either a tyrant or a feckless coward. Which one is it today?